09 October 2016

With apologies to Johnny Cash. . .





(sung to the tune of 'I've Been Everywhere')

I was draggin’ my ass through another bad depression,
When along came a shrink who came from a big pharma sales session.
"If you're feelin' pretty poorly, I’ve got a new pill for you to try."
And so I took her damn prescription and I got back on the ride.
She asked me if I'd ever tried what I had in my hand.
And I said, "Listen, I've tried every anti-dep in this here land!"

[Chorus:]
I've tried everything, man.
I've tried everything, man.
Some of them made me sing, man.
Some of made my brain zing, man.
Some made me feel creepy things, man.
I've tried everything.

I've tried:
Ativan , Lexapro,  Zofran,  Trazodone, Clomipramine,
Gabapentin, Valium, Xanax, Depakote,  Abilify,
Topamax , Lamactil, Sinequan, I’m real gone.

[Chorus:]

I’ve tried
Doxepin, Klonopin,  Buproprion, Buspirone,
Celexa, Cymbalta, Luvox, Zoloft, Paxil, Effexor,
Wellbutrin, Butriptyline, Nortriptyline, see what I mean, 

[Chorus:]

I’ve tried everything. . .

In case you need a sing-along, here's the Man in Black: